


Past Bitterness

by Bluesea_Songspell



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 13:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluesea_Songspell/pseuds/Bluesea_Songspell
Summary: Before Thomas the sides didn't exist... or did they?After a very frightening incident involving Virgil, the sides learn that they must tell Thomas the truth and somehow make friends with the dark sides, and fast.This is a story about magic, a bunch of ghosts, and a lot of feathers. (Feathers everywhere!)





	Past Bitterness

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on a texting story I created for my YouTube channel 'Bluesea Songspell'. I will still be creating that, but I will also be creating this. You don't have to look up my channel, or watch those videos. Honestly, it makes more sense in this format.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Roman was in his room drawing a sketch at his desk. He had to practice his skill every now and then, he was Thomas' creativity after all. Today, however, something felt off. Even though his room was all the way across the hall, Roman could feel some kind of energy coming from Virgil's room. It wasn't a good energy, it was more anxious, which made sense, Virgil was Thomas' anxiety, but normally Roman didn't feel it from his room.

 

_I wonder if there is something going on_ , Roman thought.  _Should I go check on him? No, better not, I'd only make him more anxious. I wonder if the others can feel this_ . These questions and more circled through Roman's head endlessly, making it  _really_ difficult to focus on the sketch. Thankfully, he didn't have to wonder for long, as he heard the familiar tune that meant a text from Virgil (Roman had set different tunes for each of his friends).

 

**Virgil: Roman?**

 

Roman was confused as to why Virgil would text  _ him _ , normally Roman was the one starting the conversations with Virgil, something  _ must _ be wrong. Roman responded back simply, ' ** Yes, Virgil? ** ' This question seemed to be pondered by Virgil, it took a while for him to respond, and when he did, it was just three simple dots. Roman was getting a bit worried, ' ** U ok? ** ' Again, it took a while for Virgil to answer, and the end result was just three dots. Roman was now completely focused on texting Virgil and not on his sketch, ' ** Virgil, what did u text me for? ** ' Three dots. At this point Roman was almost completely paranoid, ' ** Seriously r u ok!? ** ' This time there was no response from Virgil, which made Roman anxious, ' ** Virgil please?! ** ' Virgil finally responded, ' ** ……I don't want to talk about it. ** ' Roman was now pretty confused, ' ** Then why did you text me?! ** ' Virgil's response was incomplete, ' ** Well I... ** ' ' ** … ** ' ' ** …… ** ' Roman's mind was made up quickly, ' ** That's it! I'm coming over!!! ** ' Virgil texted back quickly, ' ** Wait no don't ** ' It was too late, Roman was on his way across the hall, he reached Virgil's door and heard faint sobs through the door.

 

“Virgil, are you okay?,” Roman asked, “I can hear you crying. What's wrong?” There was no response from Virgil. “You know what, I'm coming in!”

 

“Wait Roman, please... please don't.” Virgil said right as Roman barged through the door. The scene that was lain out before Roman frightened him to his very core, and seemed to stab a hole through his heart. Virgil was sitting on the couch, his hair was a mess and his makeup was streaked across his face from tears, his black and purple hoodie was on the floor in front of him, seemingly forgotten, none of this was what frightened Roman though. What frightened him was the sight of Virgil's rolled up sleeves, revealing scars on his arms, some seemed fresh, as they were bleeding quite heavily, a discarded razor blade sat on the couch next to Virgil.

 

“Virgil, you're bleeding!” Roman screamed with terror. Virgil glanced down at his new scars and wiped away some of the blood.

 

“Oh, I _am_ , I hadn't noticed.” Virgil said sarcastically through the sobs that were still coming.

 

“Virgil, this is serious! Did you do this to yourself?!”

 

“I-I...” Virgil just completely gave up. “Yes. Yes, I did.” Terror filled Roman from head to toe, acting on his princely instincts, he grabbed Virgil's hoodie and wrapped it around his arms to stop the bleeding. Roman grabbed the razor blade and properly discarded it, meaning he threw it in the nearest fireplace, making sure it would never be seen again. Roman then pulled Virgil up to his feet.

 

“We'll discuss that later... just don't pass out!”

 

“You do realize that we can't die, we are parts of Thomas, not living beings. Well, at least now we ar-” Virgil was cut off as he suddenly went pale and fell. Roman caught him and wrapped Virgil's arm around his shoulder to steady him.

 

“Virgil! You do remember what Logan said right?”

 

“W-What did h-he say again?” Virgil's voice sounded weak, as if he was about to pass out.

 

“That we may not be able to die from things like this, but we can still feel the physical effects!” Virgil looked like he was about to respond, but then his head bobbed down, he had completely passed out. “Wait, Virgil stay awake!” Roman tried to wake up Virgil, to no avail. “I'm taking you to Patton and Logan!” Roman scooped up Virgil in a princess style, and ran down the hall to the living room. Patton was cooking in the kitchen and Logan was reading a book in the living room. “Logan! Patton! Help, Virgil is hurt!” They immediately dropped what they were doing and rushed over to his side.

 

“OMG! What happened?” Patton sounded so worried, it made Roman's heart sink even lower than it already was, if that was possible.

 

“Roman, I believe Patton asked you a question.” Roman hadn't realized he'd spaced out, Logan's words forced him back in the moment.

 

“I-I don't know, but I found him bleeding in his room! He passed out, so I carried him here!” Roman's words sounded stressed and scared, but he managed to keep it together. He placed Virgil in Logan's arms.

 

Logan looked down at Virgil's arms, and noticed the distinct markings. “These scars look like...” He paused, unable to even believe what he was seeing. “Roman, did Virgil say anything to you about what happened?”

 

“That he...” Roman couldn't seem to find the words. “That he did it to himself.” He looked down at his boots, as if he thought it was his fault.

 

That seemed to make Patton even more frightened than he already was. “Why would he do this to himself?”

 

Roman knew that if Patton stayed near Virgil at this time, they would have a sobbing Patton on their hands soon enough. Thankfully, Logan seemed to realize this as well. “Roman, could you take Patton into another room while I bandage up Virgil?”

 

“Gladly.” Roman replied, leading Patton up the stairs.

 

~-- --~

 

Logan looked down at the seemingly fragile Virgil in his arms. “Oh, Virgil. Why would you do this to yourself?” Logan may have been the logical side, but even _he_ couldn't see why Virgil would do such a thing. He gently placed Virgil on the couch and reached behind it to fetch one of the first aid kits Patton had hidden in every room 'just in case'. Logan thought about this as he started patching up Virgil.

 

~-- --~

 

“Why...” Patton muttered to himself. The moral side was straight up bawling at this point, he couldn't stop thinking about Virgil's scarred arms. Roman seemed to notice this as Patton felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Patton don't cry!” Roman exclaimed. “Virgil will be fine! We can't die, remember?” To Patton, Roman seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than he was Patton, but Patton was too worried about Virgil to help him like he normally would.

 

“I know, but...” Patton couldn't find any words. “But still!”

 

“Patton, we'll figure it out. There must be a way to help him. For example, we'll hide every sharp object from him.” Again, Roman's words sounded fake.

 

This time Patton stood taller and wiped the tears from his eyes. “It's a start, but we need to do more than that!”

 

“And we will! Like I said, we'll figure it out!” Again, it was fake.

 

“Fine, I guess you're right.”

 

“Good, now we just wait for Logan to get done with Virgil and everything will be fine!” Fake.

 

~-- --~

 

Virgil couldn't feel anything as he came to. He thought he could hear a voice, it sounded familiar, but he couldn't make out what it was saying. Virgil's eyes fluttered open, but he could barely see. All that he _could_ see was a blurry image that looked like, “Ugh... L-Logan?” It was _very_ difficult for Virgil to form those words, but he managed.

 

“Yes. I am Logan.” It took a while for the words to register in Virgil's brain. So that blurry image _was_ Logan. Virgil thought that he remembered _Roman_ being the only one in his room with him when he passed out. Then again, where _was_ he? He certainly wasn't in his room, that was for sure.

 

“Wha-at ha-hap-pened?” Virgil wondered why it was so hard to make out words.

 

“You passed out from blood loss.” The blur that was Logan remarked.

 

“O-oh re-really?” Virgil _hated_ how fragile his voice sounded.

 

“Yes. Yes you did.” Logan sounded slightly angry, looked like Virgil was in for a treat.

 

“W-Well, I-I'm aw-wake n-now. S-So I-I'll ju-ust b-be on m-my way!” Virgil tried to sit up, but a lot of pain seeped through the numbness, and he winced.

 

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” Logan gently pushed Virgil back into the couch. “Now, I just wanted to ask you a question.”

 

“Wha-at?” Virgil felt like his voice was getting even worse, but he persisted.

 

“Why did you do it?” Logan's voice sounded so serious. Despite not being able to see clearly, Virgil could _feel_ Logan's eyes piercing him.

 

“I-I uh...” Virgil couldn't come up with any good excuse.

 

“Do you remember anything?”

 

“We-ell y-yeah bu-ut...”

 

“Would you feel better if Roman and Patton were here?”

 

“M-Mayb-be.”

 

“Okay, I will get them in here.” Virgil heard typing as Logan texted the other sides, the response was almost immediate from either Roman or Patton. The sound of footsteps running down the stairs caught Virgil's attention as two blurs came down.

 

“Kiddo!” The first blur exclaimed. It was probably Patton as he quickly ran up and hugged Virgil _very_ tight.

 

Virgil felt the pain all over him and winced. “W-Whoa! H-Happy to see y-you too, P-Patton.”

 

“Be gentle with him, Patton!” Logan told the moral side.

 

“Oh, sorry!” Patton loosened his grip on Virgil just enough to not hurt him.

 

“I'm so glad you're okay, Virgil! You scared me half to death!” The second blur exclaimed. It was Roman, except Virgil felt weird as Roman _also_ hugged him. Why did Roman hug him? Didn't he hate him? Then Virgil remembered completely what had happened before he had passed out, and was _even more_ confused than before.

 

“Anyways.” Logan interrupted the moment. “I thought that Virgil might feel more comfortable answering questions with _all_ of us in the room.

 

“Right, makes sense, I guess.” Virgil could here in Roman's voice that he too was feeling awkward.

 

“We're here for you, Kiddo. We love you no matter what!” Patton exclaimed. He and Roman stopped hugging Virgil. Patton started to lightly stroke Virgil's hair, Virgil found that he was too weak to stop Patton. Roman placed his hand on Virgil's shoulder.

 

“So, Virgil.” Logan said sternly, yet gently. “Why did you do it?”

 

“W-Well I...” Virgil had difficulty coming up with a good lie. To be quite honest, _he_ didn't even know why he had done it, the only excuse he had was a flimsy one at best.

 

“It's okay. You can tell us.” Patton had stopped stroking Virgil's hair and was now wiping away the makeup tear stains on Virgil's face with a tissue he had pulled from somewhere Virgil couldn't see. That made sense, as Virgil _still_ couldn't see more than a deep blur.

 

“I-I...” Nothing, Virgil couldn't think of _anything_.

 

“Can you remember anything?” Roman _actually_ sounded concerned.

 

“Yes.” Good, simpler questions. These Virgil could answer.

 

“Okay, well, what exactly can you remember?” Roman was _genuinely_ interested.

 

“W-Well...” Virgil looked at Roman. “Y-You m-mostly.”

 

Virgil wished that he could've seen Roman's face. “Really?” Roman answered.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And what exactly do you remember Roman doing?” Logan asked.

 

“Um, h-he tex-ted m-me, and c-came into m-my ro-om. T-Then I p-passed out.” Virgil explained.

 

“Yeah, all true.” Roman confirmed.

 

“Cute!” Patton exclaimed.

 

“I... uh.” From his voice, Virgil could tell that Roman was blushing, which reflect Virgil's _own_ feelings.

 

“Um...” Virgil tried to think of words to help both of them, but couldn't. He could feel _himself_ blushing as well.

 

“Do you remember anything else?” Logan asked. “Like the reason why you did it?”

 

“Y-Yes.” Virgil replied. He was glad they were moving on to something else.

 

“Like what?” Roman asked.

 

“W-Well, um...” No words.

 

“What was the reason?” Roman sounded concerned again.

 

Virgil felt himself becoming more and more anxious, he realized that it fit with his flimsy answer. Deciding to use the flimsy answer, Virgil said, “Uh, w-well, I-I'm T-Thomas' a-anxiety, s-so-”

 

“Falsehood.” Logan cut him off. “Well, I mean, you are Thomas' anxiety, but that _certainly_ is not the reason.” Virgil knew that that excuse never would have worked, it was worth a try though. Suddenly, Virgil had a realization. He remembered the words he had heard and the voice in his head while it happened. He suddenly had a _what_ or, rather a _who_ that was the cause.

 

“Agh, f-fine!” Virgil caved. “I-It w-was...” Virgil paused for dramatic effect, to spite them, _and_ to take a breather, it was _still_ difficult to speak.

 

“It was _what_?” Roman sounded a bit angry. Good, that was Virgil's goal.

 

“D-Dece-eit.” Virgil finally mumbled. He couldn't hear anything from the other sides, just stunned silence.

 

“W-What?” Roman finally mumbled out. Virgil was about to speak when, “DID HE HURT YOU?” Virgil was frightened at Roman's sudden outburst and painfully cowered away.

 

“Roman calm down!” Logan scolded. “We don't want to frighten Virgil too much!”

 

“Oh, sorry.” Roman sounded apologetic. “Still, Virgil. Did he hurt you?”

 

“W-Well, i-in t-the _p-past_ bu-ut i-it wa-asn't actual-ly _h-him_ thi-”

 

“Why in the _world_ are you defending him?” Roman sounded... worried?

 

Virgil tried to tell the truth. “Y-You kno-ow how w-we _ju-ust_ f-figu-ured o-out t-that w-we are t-the _same_ on-es f-from _b-before_? W-Well, t-the o-others m-must be t-the _o-other_ o-others a-as w-well.”

 

Virgil could feel their confusion and it didn't come as a surprise when Logan said, “Not even _I_ understood that.”

 

Virgil sighed. “Y-You d-do r-remember tha-at o-one of t-the _o-other_ o-others w-was n-named Emile _Pican-ni_ , right?”

 

“Oh, you're saying that they were our friends... back then, aren't you?” Patton asked.

 

“P-Preci-” Virgil trailed off as the numbness that he had felt suddenly subsided and he felt sharp pains in his eyes. “O-Ow.”

 

“What hurts?” Roman asked.

 

“M-My e-eyes.” Virgil put his hands over his eyes to shield them. He wondered if this had anything to do with the fact that all he could see was a deep blur.

 

“Here, let me take a look.” Logan moved Virgil's hands from his eyes and started inspecting them.

 

“Well...” Patton said. “That conversation we just had, imagine if we had to tell Thomas the truth! How weird would that be?”

 

Logan suddenly seemed to stand up straighter. “Well, Patton. Get ready for weird, because we have to tell him and make friends with the dark sides, somehow, as soon as we can!”

 

“Why?” Patton asked.

 

“Virgil has just gone through the second stage of the dematerialization process!”

 

“Wha-”

 

“WHAT!” Roman cut Patton off. Both of them looked in Virgil's eyes. Instead of seeing Thomas' milky brown eyes, Virgil could only guess that staring blankly back at them would be a pair of intense and piercingly blue eyes. The eyes of his past.

 

“Shiiii-” Virgil caught himself. “O-Oh, n-no.”

 

“Wait, when did you go through the first stage?” Roman asked.

 

“A l-long t-time a-ago, I-I h-held i-it off a-as l-long as I-I c-could.” Virgil could feel himself slipping.

 

“How long ago exactly?” Logan asked. “The stages happen when you are unconscious, and can only happen again about 48 hours after the last one.” Virgil already knew this, he had lived this. Logan must have taken Virgil's silence as confusion, because he said, “What I mean is, how long were you awake before you passed out?”

 

“A-Abo-out...” Virgil knew his next words would probably get him in a _lot_ of trouble. “T-Two y-years.” Slipping, Virgil was slipping. “I-It h-happened ab-bout t-two d-days befo-ore I-I w-was introd-duced offi-cialy on T-Thomas' ch-channel a-as a 'c-character'.”

 

Stunned silence, that was all Virgil could hear. He shouldn't have said that, he wouldn't be in this mess if he hadn't. Virgil couldn't take the silence, so he decided to focus on his other senses. All he saw was a deep blur, that didn't calm him down any. He could feel the couch on him, eyes piercing him. Mentally, he could feel himself slipping, he could barely keep his eyes open. All Virgil could smell was... Uh, oh.

 

“Does anyone else smell something burning?” Virgil asked the others.

 

“Ah! The cookies!” Patton exclaimed as he ran towards the kitchen.

 

“We must tell Thomas the truth immediately.” Logan stated. “Virgil, you will tell Thomas your side last. You obviously need sleep!”

 

Virgil didn't want to be away from them for too long, he was scared another stage would come. The others seemed to know his line of thinking, as Roman said, “You won't be far away, I'll be right next to you. I'll even carry you! Don't be worried about falling asleep, you _just_ went through a stage, it won't be able to happen for another 48 hours!” Virgil could feel himself being lifted off the ground. Apparently, Roman was serious about carrying him.

 

“You guys go, I'll be right there!” Patton's words were the last thing Virgil heard before the world vanished and he was asleep once again.

 

 


End file.
